Establish Household Rules

Household rules can be a powerful tool not only when managing screen time, but appropriate content, online communications, and more. Call a family meeting where you can start an ongoing, judgement-free conversation around video games to get the ball rolling.

This kind of open-ended conversation will help you better understand why your kids play games and what they like about their favorites. Meanwhile, it’s a good opportunity to set screen time expectations for the whole family (including you!). By giving everyone a chance to chime in on screen time rules, you are showing your children that you respect what they’re doing, but boundaries are necessary, too.

Remember: It’s crucially important for you to model that behavior and follow some of the screen time rules as well. Unlike your kids, you probably don’t need to finish homework before checking your phone, but no screens at the dinner table can apply to the whole family.

Set Parental Controls as a Backup

Nintendo Switch

Virtually every device capable of playing video games has parental controls, including PCs, smartphones, tablets, and video game consoles. These controls can help you manage what your kids play, with whom, whether they can spend money, and (you guessed it) when they can play video games and for how long.

Controls vary depending upon the device, but every single one offers the ability to set screen time limits, which you can use to reinforce your established household rules. For some devices you can even set a full weekly schedule dictating when your kids are permitted to play and for how long. This means that you can have strict timeframes during the school week and allow more time on weekends if you’d like. When your kids near the time limit the device will let them know so they can finish their online match or save their game. But once the timer is done the device will automatically shut down.

In most cases you can change these settings remotely via a companion app or website. This includes the ability to extend your kids gameplay if a game of Fortnite is going long, or cut it a little early if something comes up.

Visit ParentalTools.org for step-by-step parental controls guides.

Stay Flexible

Video games can include a lot of variables, so it’s helpful to understand the “rhythm” of the games your kids are playing and why they may be asking for “five more minutes.”

Many single player games will automatically save progress as you play, others will require that the player head to a dedicated save point. Sometimes these save points are few and far between and there are few things more frustrating than losing hours of progress because you couldn’t make it to a save point in time. Meanwhile, if your kids are in the middle of an online game, turning it off before a match is complete can have a number of negative effects, from disappointing friends and teammates, to (in some cases) in-game punishments.

PlayStation 5

Sometimes “five more minutes” can turn into 10, and it can seem arbitrary, but allowing those five minutes shows respect for your kids’ hobby and social connections. Furthermore, it shows that you understand why it’s important to reach a logical stopping point. Of course, part of managing screen time is understanding if the third call for “five more minutes” is a bit of a stretch.

Assess and Reassess

Windows and Xbox

Rules and flexibility go a long way, but you’ll want to regularly revisit your screen time rules and parental controls as your kids mature. Some rules – like no phones at the dinner table – can work forever, but you may one day find that your kids need a little more leeway. Maybe your kids are coordinating on a school project via Discord, or catching up with a friend in their Minecraft world. Of course, you may also see areas to periodically clamp down to make sure schoolwork, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities are taken care of.

This is all part of staying involved with your kids’ video game experiences. Managing screen time is just one aspect of this, but it can lead to some great conversations and it may even inspire you to pick up the controller for a fun family game night.

Patricia E. Vance is the president of the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB). In her position, she leads the teams responsible for assigning age and content ratings to video games and apps, enforcing marketing guidelines adopted by the video game industry, and operating ESRB Privacy Certified, an FTC-sanctioned COPPA Safe Harbor Privacy seal certification program.

The post What Parents Need to Know About Managing Screen Time appeared first on ESRB Ratings.

Establish Household Rules

Household rules can be a powerful tool not only when managing screen time, but appropriate content, online communications, and more. Call a family meeting where you can start an ongoing, judgement-free conversation around video games to get the ball rolling.

This kind of open-ended conversation will help you better understand why your kids play games and what they like about their favorites. Meanwhile, it’s a good opportunity to set screen time expectations for the whole family (including you!). By giving everyone a chance to chime in on screen time rules, you are showing your children that you respect what they’re doing, but boundaries are necessary, too.

Remember: It’s crucially important for you to model that behavior and follow some of the screen time rules as well. Unlike your kids, you probably don’t need to finish homework before checking your phone, but no screens at the dinner table can apply to the whole family.

Set Parental Controls as a Backup

Nintendo Switch

Virtually every device capable of playing video games has parental controls, including PCs, smartphones, tablets, and video game consoles. These controls can help you manage what your kids play, with whom, whether they can spend money, and (you guessed it) when they can play video games and for how long.

Controls vary depending upon the device, but every single one offers the ability to set screen time limits, which you can use to reinforce your established household rules. For some devices you can even set a full weekly schedule dictating when your kids are permitted to play and for how long. This means that you can have strict timeframes during the school week and allow more time on weekends if you’d like. When your kids near the time limit the device will let them know so they can finish their online match or save their game. But once the timer is done the device will automatically shut down.

In most cases you can change these settings remotely via a companion app or website. This includes the ability to extend your kids gameplay if a game of Fortnite is going long, or cut it a little early if something comes up.

Visit ParentalTools.org for step-by-step parental controls guides.

Stay Flexible

Video games can include a lot of variables, so it’s helpful to understand the “rhythm” of the games your kids are playing and why they may be asking for “five more minutes.”

Many single player games will automatically save progress as you play, others will require that the player head to a dedicated save point. Sometimes these save points are few and far between and there are few things more frustrating than losing hours of progress because you couldn’t make it to a save point in time. Meanwhile, if your kids are in the middle of an online game, turning it off before a match is complete can have a number of negative effects, from disappointing friends and teammates, to (in some cases) in-game punishments.

PlayStation 5

Sometimes “five more minutes” can turn into 10, and it can seem arbitrary, but allowing those five minutes shows respect for your kids’ hobby and social connections. Furthermore, it shows that you understand why it’s important to reach a logical stopping point. Of course, part of managing screen time is understanding if the third call for “five more minutes” is a bit of a stretch.

Assess and Reassess

Windows and Xbox

Rules and flexibility go a long way, but you’ll want to regularly revisit your screen time rules and parental controls as your kids mature. Some rules – like no phones at the dinner table – can work forever, but you may one day find that your kids need a little more leeway. Maybe your kids are coordinating on a school project via Discord, or catching up with a friend in their Minecraft world. Of course, you may also see areas to periodically clamp down to make sure schoolwork, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities are taken care of.

This is all part of staying involved with your kids’ video game experiences. Managing screen time is just one aspect of this, but it can lead to some great conversations and it may even inspire you to pick up the controller for a fun family game night.

Patricia E. Vance is the president of the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB). In her position, she leads the teams responsible for assigning age and content ratings to video games and apps, enforcing marketing guidelines adopted by the video game industry, and operating ESRB Privacy Certified, an FTC-sanctioned COPPA Safe Harbor Privacy seal certification program.

The post What Parents Need to Know About Managing Screen Time appeared first on ESRB Ratings.

As the school year gets underway, many parents will be looking to recalibrate household rules around screen time and encourage their children to strike a more consistent balance between game time, homework and real-world activities and interactions. But after a year of more relaxed rules, how can parents reintroduce screen time rules without engaging in the old tug-of-war?

What Works for Your Family?

Every parent knows that no two children are the same.  Each child has their own mentality, frustration points, and personalities that drive them to be who they are meant to be.  Each child requires a different approach based upon how he, she, or they interact with life challenges and learns to navigate the world around them.  Every family is similarly uniquely different; and no one set of blanket rules works in the same way within a family’s constellation of life.  As such, each family is going to have their own challenges and solutions when dealing with everyday problems and family structures – screen time included.

Each child requires a different approach based upon how he, she, or they interact with life challenges and learns to navigate the world around them.

The individual battles with screen time is going to vary greatly between families and their family systems. Family systems are complex social systems in which members interact to influence each other’s behaviors.  Think of it as a cause and effect system that the family interactions consciously or unconsciously attempt to stay in homeostasis (balance).  As something happens to one part of the family, the other parts of the family attempt to recalibrate and bring harmony and equilibrium.  When psychologists look at the family system structure, it is important to take a holistic approach to what changes need to occur to bring the family systems back from chaos.

Regardless of the external pressures of society bearing down upon families to make choices about screens; families need to look to the approach of what works for them as a unit. Parents can utilize some simple boundaries to help determine where the lines are drawn and where they may need to ease up on some of their personal concerns.

How Much Screen Time is Too Much Screen Time?

The first question that is always asked of psychologists or mental health professionals is “How much screen time is too much screen time?” Unfortunately, researchers do not have an answer for this question, as much of the research is convoluted and not clear on the impact of video games or screen time.  Former statements on the topic have been retracted often and continue to change.

Some of the major players in the field (e.g. APA, AAP, etc.) have suggested that there should be limits to screens based upon the age of the individual.  Yet, the research does not hold up well with suggested determinations due to poor methods used when determining these boundaries.  Children learn through play and during times of the pandemic and a post-COVID world, screens have been one of the few safe ways to engage with peers and others.

Psychologists, mental health professionals, and medical professionals attempt to err on the side of caution when examining this question.  The best answer we can provide when working with families about screen time is to establish what works best for your family dynamics.  How does it affect the family?  What rules need to be established for your family in order to make the system work?  Maybe screen time is set daily with specific time parameters, or only after daily chores/work are/is completed. Parents are the best sources of information to make these determinations and therefore should be considered the experts of the family.  Advice from professionals is helpful to incorporate, but it has to work within the family structure that is present already and it is important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

However, there are instances where the child or adolescent may engage with screens and neglect other aspects of their lives.  In such cases, it is important to impose some form of limitation before the child can proceed with their screen time; whether it be video games, watching TV/YouTube/streams, or engaging with their favorite online community.  Setting boundaries is the best course of action and an important one for families to implement, not just with video games, but all instances where a child or adolescent may be having difficulties with any activity.

Having a conversation about limits and encouraging the child to be a part of the conversation is exceptionally important.  Children and adolescents require guidance and nurturing of course, but encouraging the child to be a part of the conversation allows them to have a lasting impact and begins their participation in the concept of setting their own limits. Research has shown that when we involve the child in the decision-making process and help them critically think through the problem to find a solution; it creates a meaningful memory for the child which acts as a roadmap for future problem-solving abilities. It is important to not be overly restrictive, but allow the conversation to flow into the creation of the rules and boundaries and over time adjust them when warranted.

Pro-tips for Establishing Household Rules:

Identify Family Rules: Identify and clearly define the rules of the family household.  Younger children can only remember one to two rules at a time and require chances to learn what rules are, but older children have the capabilities to understand rules in more sophistication.  Parents will want to avoid rules that are vague such as “be good” or “just don’t do anything bad” as it is not clearly defined.  Rules should be clearly defined so that children and teenagers know what to expect.

Explain the Rules: Explain what each rule means and give examples of them, ensure that all family members understand what each rule entails.  There may be parts of the rules that need further explanation, and it is encouraged to explain them with clarity.  Create a chart if need be and set expectations of what will happen if the rule is not followed.  Are there no screens until chores are done?  Homework has to be finished before screens are used?  Are phones allowed at the dinner table?  These are simple questions that can help decide what the rules of the household are.

Use Positive/Negative Consequences for Rules: Families are generally told to enforce negative consequences such as losing privileges, limiting screen time or restricting social events when rules are broken. This is only half of the equation at best when establishing rules for families. There has to be positive reinforcement as well, such as labeled praise, relaxing of rules where appropriate, additional freedoms (such as extra screen time or a treat) in order to have children and teenagers understand what is acceptable and what is not.  This helps to reframe the conversation around what rule was broken and what is the consequence for it.  It allows the parents to say, “we both knew the rules, you did/didn’t follow them, here is the consequence for that” and take the guilt and friction off of the parents.  Reframe the issue back to the child or teenager that their lack of following/or following the home rules led to this decision therefore they decided to have consequences that are either positive or negative.  This needs to be paired with the positive reinforcement that helps children feel like they accomplished a feat which continues to build internal motivation to earn rewards as well.

Advice from professionals is helpful to incorporate, but it has to work within the family structure that is present already and it is important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

Parental Controls: Use the ESRB rating system, parental controls, and other helpful tools that are already out there and easily available for parents to use when needed.  Parental controls are a great backup to help enforce the household rules in a pinch. Virtually every digital device offers controls to manage not just how long kids can play, but when.  Parents in the know-how tend to use these tools to great success.

Be Flexible: According to a recent ESRB survey conducted by Hart Research Associates, 79% of parents have household rules around screen time.  Most parents are flexible with their rules around screen time.  This style of parenting is usually seen as a positive to the children, parents, and family structure, but is based upon a set of rules already in place.  Having the flexibility to bend the rules in both directions as needed, and dependent upon the situation, has been shown to work well with engagement and family bonding.  The caveat is that there are rules that have been established that can “flex” as needed for the situation, some perhaps more than others like when it involves spending money.  And, as children mature and their lives evolve, so should your household rules.

Lead By Example: It is of the utmost importance that parents and caregivers are at all times appropriately modeling the behaviors they want to see in the family.  Children and teenagers look to their parents for guidance (yes, they do, even though it does not always seem so) in how to engage the world around them and interact with others.  If parents are on their screens in front of the kids, then the children tend to follow suit.  Be aware of what is happening around you and put the screens down yourself to be present and have more personal interactions with your children.

Indeed, there are many positive aspects of playing video games, but parents need to guide their children so they can reach the maximum benefits.  How much time to do the children spend playing, are school grades appropriate, can the skills be extrapolated into real life situations, and so on.  This is where appropriate boundaries at home come into play to help the family understand the concepts and implementation.

Most importantly, by having your child engage in the process of establishing rules about screen time limit, they build the confidence to solve their own problems and engage with life in a prosocial manner.   And isn’t that the end goal for all parents?

Dr. Anthony Bean

Dr. Anthony Bean is a Licensed Clinical Depth Psychologist, video game researcher, and the Executive Director at The Telos Project, a thriving nonprofit mental health clinic in Fort Worth, Texas which focuses on video gamers and their families.  He has been consulted as an expert for CNN, Inverse, Polygon, and internationally for Gehirn & Geist, while also appearing on Radio, Podcasts, and being a sought after Keynote Speaker and conference speaker in the United States, Canada, and Russia.  He holds a Doctorate in Philosophy in Clinical Depth Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute and specialize in the therapeutic implications of video games and gaming, working with children and adolescents, and the use of video game character identification as a therapeutic technique. He created Geek Therapeutics, a company that teaches clinicians, professionals, and parents how to relate to their clients and families who play video games, Dungeons and Dragons, and other geek cultural artifacts.  He has also authored multiple academic articles, book chapters, and the four books Working with Video Gamers and Games in Therapy: A Clinician’s Guide (Routledge, 2018) and The Psychology of Zelda: Linking Our World to the Legend of Zelda Series (Ben Bella, 2019), Integrating Geek Culture Into Therapeutic Practice: The Clinician’s Guide To Geek Therapy (Leyline Publishing, 2020), and The Psychology of Final Fantasy: Surpassing The Limit Break (Leyline Publishing, 2020)

The post Ask the Expert: Balancing Your Family’s Screen Time appeared first on ESRB Ratings.

Choose the Right Games for Your Family

Knowing which games are appropriate for your children is easier than you may think. If your child has asked to play or purchase a specific game, a good first step is to check the rating displayed on the product detail page. Parents can also conduct a search for the ESRB-assigned age and content ratings on esrb.org or our rating search app for iOS and Android by entering the game’s title. With our three-part rating system, you can quickly understand if a game is appropriate for your family. You can also review a game’s Rating Summary, which provides even more detail.

Still not sure? You can read reviews from game enthusiast websites, and watch gameplay clips on sites like Mixer, Twitch, and YouTube.

Have a Family Meeting and Set House Rules

Agreeing on some house rules for video games and devices may be the most important way to make sure your kids’ interactive experiences are safe and appropriate. Start by calling a family meeting to discuss these topics, and make sure everyone is on the same page regarding how they can engage with games and apps.

It’s not always easy to navigate these conversations, especially if you have some older kids that have been enjoying rule-free gaming sessions for some time, but we have a helpful Family Discussion Guide to get the conversation started. You can go over what games are appropriate for which of your children, explain why, and highlight some time limits for every day of the week. With all of this time at home, establishing a balanced structure around the day – especially when it comes to playing video games – is wise and a good way to maintain relative peace. Further, you may want to set rules about with whom your kids can play online and how much money (if any) they can spend online to download new games or make in-game purchases.

During times like these it may also be a good idea to have some house rules around keeping shared spaces tidy. Discuss how it’s important to put away controllers and wires after playing games. And if you’re playing as a family, you may also want to consider making some rules around sanitizing shared controllers.

Getting the house rules in writing is only the first part of the process. Everyone (yes, even you, parents) needs to abide by the rules! And they should be adapted as the stay-at-home orders lift and other factors come into play. Parental controls can help enforce whatever rules you establish.

Set Parental Controls

Since you may be pre-occupied preparing meals, cleaning your house, or working remotely, it’s important to set parental controls to make sure your kids are sticking to their routines and the house rules. With ParentalTools.org ESRB has made it easier than ever to help you manage what your kids can play, for how long, with whom, and how much they can spend.

For example, some parents may be comfortable with their teens diving into Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (rated M for Mature 17+), but that may not work for every family or for every child in the household. You can manage which games can be played (by specific family member on certain devices) by the ESRB-assigned age rating to ensure that your kids don’t play a game they may not be ready for.

Games like Fortnite (rated T for Teen 13+) and Minecraft (rated E10+ for Everyone 10+) can provide dozens of hours of gameplay with friends or alone.

Now more than ever, you may want to set play-time limits to make sure game time doesn’t interfere with homework, chores, or getting some physical exercise.

ParentalTools.org

Speaking of playing with friends, many games enable players to play with each other online. While playing online can be a great team-building experience and a way for your kids to stay connected with their friends, you may not be comfortable with your kids playing with strangers. Thankfully, parental controls can manage (or block) chat features or in some cases let you approve friends.

Many platforms enable players to purchase new games via download and some games also offer in-game items for purchase. Setting controls to manage spending money on game or in-game purchases will make sure you don’t have any surprise charges to your account or credit card. If you want to learn more about the different types of in-game purchases, we have you covered.

You can find ESRB’s step-by-step instructions on how to activate the parental controls on your device(s) at ParentalTools.org. It’s never too late to set those controls!

Make sure you keep an eye on ESRB’s Twitter and Facebook for more advice. It’s never been easier to manage what, when, and how your kids engage with video games, all it takes is a little time and attention!

All of us at the ESRB hope that you and your families are healthy and safe.

Patricia E. Vance is the president of the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB). In her position, she leads the teams responsible for assigning age and content ratings to video games and apps, enforcing marketing guidelines adopted by the video game industry, and operating ESRB Privacy Certified, an FTC-sanctioned COPPA Safe Harbor Privacy seal certification program.

The post What Parents Need to Know About Managing Their Kids’ Video Games During the Pandemic appeared first on ESRB Ratings.

Have the Screen Time Talk

Time for a family meeting! It’s easier to set limits if everyone is on the same page… even you, parents. Gather the whole gang and talk through how you interact with your devices, where you can cut down, and why. It may be challenging, but this is also a good time for you to gain a better understanding of how you interact with your devices. We’ve seen many parents discover that they, too, need to set some limits on device use. Walk the talk!

According to a study from the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (RCPCH) in the UK, parents should “negotiate screen time limits with their children based on the needs of an individual child.” A teenager may need more screen time to do school work or socialize with friends over a game of Fortnite, whereas a younger child may benefit from a less screen-heavy schedule.  You know your children best, but the earlier you set ground rules the better.  And make sure that your children understand the consequences of breaking those rules.

If you’re looking to have an in-depth conversation about how your family interacts with video games visit the ESRB Parent Resources Center, including a Family Discussion Guide to help you lead a constructive conversation.

At the end of the day, as parents, we have more control than we often think we do.  Setting ground rules and them are part of our core responsibilities. Don’t be afraid to flex those parenting muscles.

Set Parental Controls

Virtually all video game devices, from home consoles, to handheld game devices, to computers, to phones and tablets, have built in parental controls that enables screen-time management. Certain time management options are more generalized, but many of the controls allow you to set specific time parameters for every day of the week, including for each child in the home. Once they’re set, the device will know to shut off when time has elapsed – meaning dinner time or bedtime can be conflict-free. Whatever parameters you set should be part of the conversation about establishing screen time rules with your child. Don’t activate parental controls without letting your kids know! 

Visit this page for a list of step-by-step parental control guides. And remember, screen time isn’t the only thing you can manage with parental controls, you can also limit which games your kids play based on the ESRB-assigned rating information, manage spending, select who your kids can play with, and more!

Stay Engaged 

According to a study from Cardiff University there’s very little evidence to suggest that screen time impacts child development. In fact, it’s been shown that children can benefit if parents remain engaged with their kids’ digital activities.

Additionally, sharing screen time can be a surprisingly effective family bonding experience. Whether it’s a friendly game of Mario Kart (loser does the dishes!) or watching an episode of television as a family, engaging in your kids’ screen time can strengthen your relationships and help you manage what they’re exposed to.  And when you’ve had enough screen time, you can always engage your child in good old-fashioned non-screen activities.

Continually Reassess 

Getting some rules in place will make everything a lot simpler, but it’s essential to continue to reassess what’s working and what’s not. 

As your children get older you may decide the rules need to be adjusted based on extracurricular activities, homework, grades, vacation schedules, etc.  Obviously, as your child enters his or her teenage years, it will become increasingly difficult to enforce those rules. And that’s OK. It’s all part of learning self-control and making good choices.  

Always remember to keep the lines of communication open and be conscious of your own behavior. After all, your personal screen-time habits set the ultimate example for your kids, so it helps to stay aware.

The post Ending the Tug-of-War Over Screen Time in the Home appeared first on ESRB Ratings.